Does Your Marriage Have What It Takes to Go the Distance? A Tribute to Mom, Dad, & 51 Years

My parents -- Robert and Lillian Slice
Still dancing after 51 years!

Fifty years seems like a long time, until I think about the fact that it’s only a few years longer than I have been alive, and then it doesn’t seem like very long at all.  But to be married to someone for 51 years, now that’s a long time.

Thank you, Mom and Dad, for staying married.  By staying married for half a century you demonstrated that when two people say “I Do,” it is for keeps, and that when you love someone, you never hedge your bets, keep your options open, or have a Plan B.  You put all your money on the table, all your chips in the pot, and all your eggs in one basket.

By staying married for 51 years, you have demonstrated that love means commitment, even when the hard times come – especially when the hard times come. I've seen your marriage weather sickness, financial hardship, emotional struggles, parenting and grandparenting challenges, sorrow, disappointment, and even death.  

Staying married meant that some days you loved her (or him) better than you loved yourself, because loving yourself might have meant leaving instead of staying.

Staying married meant that some days you loved your children more than you loved yourselves. I thank God I never had to live in two homes, sleep in two beds, or have two sets of parents. Frankly, I like the original pair.

Most of all, by staying married for 51 years, you demonstrated to us that when you promised before God and your families and friends that you would love, honor, and cherish each other as long as you both would live, ‘til death should part you, you meant it.  You gave your word, and you've kept it.  At least, so far so good . . .   
When I grow up, I want to be just like you.

Robert & Lillian Slice 

October 12, 1961 - October 12, 2012

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Have I Told You Lately that I Love You?

Some anniversaries are happy, like wedding anniversaries (27 in December) and homeowner anniversaries (23 and paid for).

Some anniversaries are not so happy, like those that mark the time since loved ones have passed away. This month my family marks two such anniversaries. On August 1, 2010, my sister-in-law Kay died unexpectedly of a triple brain aneurysm while we were away on a mission trip to Mexico. Three weeks later, on August 21, my sister Cindy died from complications involving a toxic interaction of long-term prescribed medications.

Today my baby sister, Tina, sent me a song message. When I opened her voice mail, I heard a classic love song by Rod Stewart.  It asked a question that we should all consider from time to time, "Have I Told You Lately that I Love You?" Based on Stewart's other musical offerings, it's safe to say that he has a very skewed understanding of what true love is, but he asks a great question.

We were 3,000 miles away from home last summer when we received word that Kay had died. Immediately my husband's thoughts returned to his last conversation with his sister three days before we left for Mexico. Extremely busy with last minute trip preparations, he heard her voice over the answering machine. Tempted not to pick up the phone because of the press of the To Do List, he instead let his heart rule over his head. He talked with Kay for a few minutes. Ever the big sister, she told him she was proud of him for the way he was preparing to lead our team to minister in Mexico.

"I love you brother, " she concluded. 

"I love you too," he said as he ended the conversation.

Those were the last words they would exchange on this side of eternity.

My sister's death was very different. Experiencing a toxic interaction between several prescribed medications, Cindy went into respiratory arrest one night. By the time she reached the hospital, all her body systems were failing.

Cindy stayed in a coma on a respirator for over three weeks while we wondered, and hoped, and prayed. Then one day, she opened her eyes. A few days later her kidneys began to function, and she was weaned from the respirator. Uncertain of how much brain damage she had suffered, we continued to talk, sing, and joke with her. Mostly she stared, eyes unfocused, while we wondered if the Cindy we knew was still in there somewhere.

I visited one day during those uncertain times. As I greeted her, I leaned close to press my cheek against her forehead. Surprisingly, her arm came up in an awkward embrace, and she haltingly spoke the words I never thought I would hear from her lips again, "Ahh wuv oooo."

"Ah wuv oooo, too," I blubbered back. Cindy was usually the one to say "I love you" first. Though we lived in two very different worlds, we shared the common bond of a sister's love that transcended our differences.

Although Cindy began to deteriorate rapidly after that wonderful day, I realized that God had heard our prayers. We asked God to heal Cindy.  He gave her back to us for those brief days in order that we might tell her, one more time, that we loved her, and to hear her say it too.  We ended each visit the same way, even the last night I saw her.  By then she was unable to respond, but I said it anyway.

"Ah wuv oooo, Cindy Lou."


Have I told you lately that I love you?

If you need to say it to someone, don't wait another minute.

 "This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you."  (John 15:12)

No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us.  (1 John 4:12)

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Are You Ready to Go?

If you knew your life would end tomorrow,  would you be ready?

Several weeks ago a radio preacher made headlines by proclaiming that the end of the world was coming on May 21.  I took special note of this prediction because my youngest daughter was graduating from  high school that day.  Thankfully we had our bases covered, since commencement was to be at 2 pm, and the end of the world was scheduled for six.

 Many biblical scholars countered this man's prediction with Mark 13:32 that says of Christ's coming, "But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father."

We know that May 21 came and went without the rapture of the church or the end of the world, and skeptics scoffed at the whole concept of  divine judgement.

Not so quick, I say, Harold Camping made a major mistake, and it cost him his credibility, but he got at least one thing right.  There will be a time when Christ comes back to judge the world and the people in it.  Just because Camping overstepped biblical boundaries and set a date for Christ's return doesn't mean we have the right to throw his whole theology out the window.  Whether you believe the teaching of the Rapture of the church or not, the Bible clearly teaches that one day our life on this earth will end, and we will have to answer for how we have lived our lives.

God always keeps His promises, and His calendar is never off.

In Genesis 15, God told Abraham that his descendents would live in Egypt for over 400 years before God would deliver them from slavery and bring them back to the land of Israel.

Exodus 12:41 tells the fulfillment of the promise.  "And it came to pass at the end of the four hundred and thirty years -- on that very same day -- it came to pass that all the armies of the Lord went out from the land of Egypt."

As the Israelites prepared for the exodus, God told them what to do.  First, prepare the passover lamb, and eat it.  God knew they couldn't embark on a journey without food to sustain them.  How he told them to eat it, though, is most interesting.  "And thus you shall eat it:  with a belt on your waist, your sandals on your feet, and your staff in your hand.  So you shall eat it in haste."

 In other words, God was telling them to do what they needed to do, but be sitting on GO.  "Be ready," he told them.

 His message is the same for us today.  "Watch therefore, for you do not know when the master of the house is coming--in the evening, at midnight, at the crowing of the rooster, or in the morning-- lest, coming suddenly, he find you sleeping. And what I say to you, I say to all: Watch! Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect."   (Mark 12:35-40)

This doesn't mean we sell all our possessions and quit our jobs to climb the rooftop and scan the sky.  Christ warned the early church about that.  What it does mean is that we should live our lives, as much as we can, with no spiritual regrets.

 My sister-in-law Kay lived her life like that.   She served God faithfully and taught generations of kindergarteners how to know her Savior.  She shared her faith boldly.  She served those around her unselfishly.  She laughed often.  She gave to the church.  She forgave quickly and asked forgiveness even quicker.    She lived her life with her shoes on her feet and her staff in her hand.  She was sitting on GO.

On August 1, 2010, she went to bed with a headache and woke up in the presence of her Savior.


If you knew your life would end today, would you be ready?