Don't Get Sucked In by Conversational Undertow

 I wonder how many people were swept away by the deceptively-calm water of the Columbia canal before the city posted warning signs about its dangerous undertow? 

One? Two? Ten? 

I’ve never felt inspired to wade into the murky water, especially after city officials posted a second sign: Alligators May Live Here. 

While I have enough sense not to swim into questionable water, I’ve sometimes been sucked into a conversational undertow that’s almost as dangerous. Negativity, gossip, criticism, foolishness, and unwholesome talk can carry us downriver as quickly as a fast-moving canal. 


Negativity 

Negativity is subtle. It usually begins with an observation. “Sure is cold today.” Then it grows. “I hate cold weather.” 

And it spreads. “I do, too. As soon as it turns cold, everyone gets sick.” 

Then someone else chimes in. “Yeah! I got the flu so bad last year I thought I’d never recover. I wish people would get the flu shot. People are so selfish and inconsiderate.” 

And on, and on, and on. Before you know it, everyone within hearing distance is grumpy. 

Philippians 4:8 provides the antidote: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” 

Gossip 

A writer once said, “A lie can travel halfway around the world before the truth has time to lace up its boots.” This is certainly true with gossip. Even in Christian circles. 

Sometimes gossip springs from a root of truth and genuine concern. “Mary and her husband separated last week. We need to pray for them.” If we add unnecessary details not required to fuel our prayers and share them with those who have no business knowing them, the seeds of gossip find fertile ground. With every retelling, the facts get fuzzier and the truth blurs until the story resembles a thrice-removed cousin at a family reunion. 

We can avoid getting trapped in the undertow of gossip by asking these questions: Is it true? Is it kind? Does it need to be said? Very little can make it past this filter, and what does bears no resemblance to gossip. 

Speak “the truth in love,” Ephesians 4:15 exhorts.

Criticism 

Criticism often hides behind efficiency. “If she’d do it my way, we wouldn’t have this problem.” We focus on the ten percent that’s bad about a situation, instead of the ninety percent that’s good. Criticism in a home, office, or church spreads faster than a stomach bug in a daycare. It sucks the joy out of a room, elevates the negative, and dismisses the positive. 

The cure for this harmful spirit is gratitude. Thanking God for every good gift fills our hearts and minds and elbows out critical thoughts and fault-finding words (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

Foolishness 

The biblical description of foolish talk involves more than just silliness. A fool by God’s standards is a person who acts as though there is no God. Their speech is filled with statements like “I have bad luck,” “It’s karma,” and “I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.” 

Foolish talk of a more serious type says, “God’s mad at me,” “God doesn’t want me to be happy,” and “God doesn’t hear my prayers.” 

Psalm 14:1 spotlights the source of this conversational undertow: “The fool has said in his heart, there is no God.” The cure is a solid understanding of God’s character, based on His Word. When we acknowledge there is a God, surrender our lives to Him, and study His Word, we’ll find that less and less foolishness comes out of our mouths. 

Unwholesome Talk 

We need only turn on our televisions or watch a movie to hear more unwholesome talk in an hour than our grandparents heard in their lifetime. I’ve often wondered why we invite television shows with cursing and vulgarity into our homes when we’d never tolerate a real person using such language in front of our spouse or children. 

Even Christians get drawn into our culture’s coarse and vulgar way of speaking. What goes into our ears often finds its way out of our mouths. We joke about things that used to be private. We use salty language and questionable slang. We use one manner of speaking at church and another with friends. 

“You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived,” Colossians 3:7-8 says. “But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.” 

One friend who’s determined to stop cursing has memorized Bible verses like this. She recites them to herself several times during the day. When she slips and uses bad language, she apologizes to the person listening, confesses it as sin to the Lord, asks forgiveness, and recasts her sentence, substituting a silly word for the vulgar one. She’s learning to master her tongue instead of letting it master her. 

The Conclusion of the Matter 

Like the undertow at the Columbia canal has the power to suck unsuspecting swimmers down the river and into the rapids, conversational undertow can carry us into dangerous relational waters. If we heed the warnings in God’s Word and stay far from the edge, we need not fear. Instead, we can embrace the challenge of Ephesians 4:29: 

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” 

Now it’s your turn? Which of these conversational undertows do you struggle with the most? What steps are you taking to change? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts. If you’re reading by email, CLICK HERE to visit Hungry for God online and leave a comment. 

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