Will Your Marriage Be the Last One Standing?

I remember how it felt to be the last one standing when the stomach bug ravaged our family. 

I desperately sprayed Lysol on everything that didn’t breathe (and maybe a few things that did). I bleached hard surfaces, laundered bedding, and washed my hands until they cracked. 

Not me, I vowed. I will not get sick. It’s not going to get me. 

I felt the same way recently when I heard the news that two more of our friends had separated. Married longer than we’ve been, they appeared to have a stable marriage. Now they’re living in different houses, deciding if their marriage is worth fighting for. 

Hearing the news makes me want to reach for the Matrimonial Lysol and spray anything that dares get within 10 feet of my marriage. I want to scrub away the lies we’re tempted to believe – that someone else will understand us better, that a little pornography doesn’t hurt, that we deserve someone more exciting. I want to launder away the soil of selfishness, laziness, and pride. Most of all, I want to wash my hands of the excuses we make for not loving each other like Christ loves us. 

I don’t want my marriage to be the last one standing. My husband and I want to be part of a long line of lifers—couples who have navigated the waters of marriage from “I do” to “’til death do us part.” I want our marriage to grow sweeter as the years go by, not sour or cynical. 

Here we are on our wedding day, Dec. 28, 1984

I want us to hold hands when we’re 90, sneak kisses when we think no one’s looking, and fall asleep in the same bed every night. 

I want my husband to still think I’m pretty when wrinkles and grey hair replace smooth skin and highlights. I want to always admire his muscles and tell him how handsome he looks. I want to pray with him, not against him. 

Now more than ever, I want to love my husband when it’s easy and when it’s hard, because our kids are watching. And our grandkids. And God. They all know neither of us is easy to live with. But we’re going to keep our commitment to each other, because we promised. 

And about that promise – the one we made before God. I don’t want one day to look at Jesus’ nail-scarred hands and pierced side and say, “My marriage was too hard. The sacrifice was too great.” 

Our marriages are the best examples to the world of what committed love looks like. They're reflections of God’s love toward us – unconditional and never-ending. This is why we can’t give up.

We have to continue to become the husband or wife God intends for us to be. We have to go the extra mile, and the next, and the next. We must grab hold of our marriages and not let go – to be like Jacob and say, “I will not let you go until you bless me!” And we must forgive - seventy times seven.

Finally, we must pray circles around our marriages and our mates every day. This is spiritual warfare, and we can no longer remain ignorant or disengaged. Satan is prowling, seeking whom he may devour. He wants it to be us. 

I refuse to be the last one standing. It’s time to stand up and be counted.

"(We) can do all things through Christ who gives (us) strength" (Phil. 4:13).

Will you join me? 

If you leave your name in the comment box. I’d be honored to pray for your marriage today.

And if you need another reminder to fight and pray, take a few minutes and watch this clip from War Room, "It's Time to Fight." If you're reading by email, click here to be challenged and inspired.

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