Will Your Marriage Be the Last One Standing?

I remember how it felt to be the last one standing when the stomach bug ravaged our family. 

I desperately sprayed Lysol on everything that didn’t breathe (and maybe a few things that did). I bleached hard surfaces, laundered bedding, and washed my hands until they cracked. 

Not me, I vowed. I will not get sick. It’s not going to get me. 

I felt the same way recently when I heard the news that two more of our friends had separated. Married longer than we’ve been, they appeared to have a stable marriage. Now they’re living in different houses, deciding if their marriage is worth fighting for. 

Hearing the news makes me want to reach for the Matrimonial Lysol and spray anything that dares get within 10 feet of my marriage. I want to scrub away the lies we’re tempted to believe – that someone else will understand us better, that a little pornography doesn’t hurt, that we deserve someone more exciting. I want to launder away the soil of selfishness, laziness, and pride. Most of all, I want to wash my hands of the excuses we make for not loving each other like Christ loves us. 

I don’t want my marriage to be the last one standing. My husband and I want to be part of a long line of lifers—couples who have navigated the waters of marriage from “I do” to “’til death do us part.” I want our marriage to grow sweeter as the years go by, not sour or cynical. 

Here we are on our wedding day, Dec. 28, 1984
I want us to hold hands when we’re 90, sneak kisses when we think no one’s looking, and fall asleep in the same bed every night. 

I want my husband to still think I’m pretty when wrinkles and grey hair replace smooth skin and highlights. I want to always admire his muscles and tell him how handsome he looks. I want to pray with him, not against him. 

Now more than ever, I want to love my husband when it’s easy and when it’s hard, because our kids are watching. And our grandkids. And God. They all know neither of us is easy to live with. But we’re going to keep our commitment to each other, because we promised. 

And about that promise – the one we made before God. I don’t want one day to look at Jesus’ nail-scarred hands and pierced side and say, “My marriage was too hard. The sacrifice was too great.” 

Our marriages are the best examples to the world of what committed love looks like. They're reflections of God’s love toward us – unconditional and never-ending. This is why we can’t give up.

We have to continue to become the husband or wife God intends for us to be. We have to go the extra mile, and the next, and the next. We must grab hold of our marriages and not let go – to be like Jacob and say, “I will not let you go until you bless me!” And we must forgive - seventy times seven.

Finally, we must pray circles around our marriages and our mates every day. This is spiritual warfare, and we can no longer remain ignorant or disengaged. Satan is prowling, seeking whom he may devour. He wants it to be us. 

I refuse to be the last one standing. It’s time to stand up and be counted.

"(We) can do all things through Christ who gives (us) strength" (Phil. 4:13).

Will you join me? 

If you leave your name in the comment box. I’d be honored to pray for your marriage today.

And if you need another reminder to fight and pray, take a few minutes and watch this clip from War Room, "It's Time to Fight." If you're reading by email, click here to be challenged and inspired.

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  1. Your open heart in this message will become the glue to some broken marriages. The truths here are difference makers. My husband and I have been married for over 50 years. He loves to wave the battle scared flag before young people to let them know that the trials and challenges are worth fighting the skirmishes. Prayers brings victory.
    Just after saying, "I do" so long ago, I asked God to be our glue in our marriage. It was one of the wisest prayers I made. God has been our uniter. He is the difference maker in all things.
    May this honest message lead broken hearts into the comfort of God's arms.
    Share on!

    1. Aw, Carolyn, what an absolutely beautiful testimony to the power of commitment and God's grace. May God bless you and your husband with many, many more years together on this earth. THanks so much for chiming in :)

  2. Through good times and bad - til death do us part.
    Certainly easier said than done, impossible without the love of God.

    1. Amen, and amen, Cindy. Only by God's grace, but oh, the riches of his grace to us. May God bless you and your man with a marriage that continues to shine the light of Jesus into every dark corner.

  3. Thank you Lori! This is right on time. God's timing is perfect and I'm so thankful for your ministry that He uses to speak to others. You are a blessing!! Tony and Cathy

    1. Thank you for your kind words, friend. We are blessed to have you among the circle of "lifers" in our life. Keep shining for Him!

  4. I agree you message is right on time as we were just blessed with our second child and the birth of our first almost tore us apart. So I am scared as I think back to what happened before but know that God was the glue that kept us together and I pray we remember to look to him when times are tough during this new season.thank you for sharing your gift

    1. I hear you friend. Parenthood can put a tremendous strain on a marriage. My prayer for you is that you will walk in faith, not fear, honor each other in the Lord, and seek Jim first in everything you do. Congratulations on the new little one. What a gift from God!

    2. HIM, not Jim. Haha.

  5. I want to fight for my marriage

    1. Father, fill Marisa with grace, patience, perseverance, love, and faith. Strengthen her marriage and help it go the distance. In Jesus name, amen.

  6. My husband, Marcos and I (Beverly) will celebrate our 24th anniversary in October. I pray that God continues to grace us, for a lifetime. That we may grow in holiness and love and be an example for our children and grandchildren. Lori, your message area always a blessing.

    1. Father, thank you for helping Beverly and Marcos grow in the grace and knowledge of you and of each other. Bless the latter half of heir marriage even more than the former. Use trhem as a testimony of your love to the world. In Jesus name I pray, Amen

  7. Thank you for an honest and straight forward message. I'm fighting right now for my marriage. My husband doesnt claim to be a Christian any longer and after 29 years of marriage he confessed a few weeks ago that he is gay. But I feel God still wants me to stand and fight for our marriage. Please pray for us both as God and I wage a spiritual battle against the evil one who wants to destroy our marriage and steal my husband from me.

  8. Ryan and Jill married June 17, 2000 and finding new ways to grow everyday. My husband works for a group of marriage counselors. He has seen marriages heal from the most unimaginable situations because God is good! We just learned of a 4th couple, we are friends with, within this year that are getting a divorce. It makes me so sad. But I just step back, take a breath and celebrate with those white haired couples in our church that have been married 60+ years and whisper to my husband how much I love and appreciate his companionship.

  9. Hey there,

    How is your marriage going? Be honest…how is it ACTUALLY going?

    If you’re reading this e-mail right now, then chances are your marriage isn’t what it used to be… and maybe it’s so bad, that you feel like your world is falling apart.

    You feel like all the passion, the love, and romance have completely faded.

    You feel like you and your wife can’t stop yelling at each other.

    And maybe you feel that there’s almost nothing you can do to save your marriage, no matter how hard you try.

    But you’re wrong.

    You CAN save your marriage — even if your wife says she wants to get a divorce. You CAN rebuild that passion you felt for one another when you first kissed. And you can bring back that love and devotion you felt for one another when both of you said, “I love you” for the first time.

    If you feel like your marriage is worth fighting for, then do yourself a favour and watch this quick video that will teach you everything you need to know about salvaging the most important thing in the world:

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    So if you feel like your marriage is about to take its last few breaths, then I urge you to watch this quick video:

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    You’ve got nothing to lose.

    All the best,


    PS. Just take 3 mins to watch the video.. if you don’t, you may miss the one tip that could save your marriage. Click here: =>Transform Your Marriage in Minutes<=


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