When Sheltering at Home Is Hard -- COVID-19

The corona virus has required most of us to shelter-at-home when not working, fetching groceries, or exercising. At my house, this has been mostly a good thing. My husband, David, and I have enjoyed unhurried morning devotions, long walks, and relaxed conversation. We’re working out a routine and trying not to get on each other’s nerves. 

He’s an extrovert who’s missing people, and I’m an introvert who’s missing solitude. Like we did in our newlywed years, we’re learning to live together in respectful harmony.

But some days it’s not easy.

One of the hardest things about being together all the time is, well, being together all the time. Not very profound, but profoundly true, yes? It helps when you love the person with whom you’re sheltering.

About a year into our marriage, we struggled to understand why we always seemed to argue on Saturdays. All week long we’d look forward to being together on our day off, but by nightfall we’d find ourselves frustrated and grumpy.

One Saturday evening, in answer to my bewildered prayers, the Holy Spirit brought about an epiphany. As we sat around the dinner table, I sighed happily. “Mmmmm, today was such a good day. I got so much done!”

“It was a good day,” David agreed. “I didn’t do a thing.”

And therein lay the rub. 

I’m a task-oriented doer who loves to check off boxes. David is a hard worker who believes Saturdays are for kicking back, chilling out, and relaxing.

We realized our different viewpoints would continue to cause frustration and anger unless we somehow worked out a compromise. Thankfully the Lord gave us an idea.

“Saturday morning is all yours,” David said. “I’ll cut the grass, change the oil, or fix something. Just give me Saturday afternoon to veg in front of the television or take a nap.”

From the very first Saturday, our plan worked as smoothly as Shea butter on a baby.

He cheerfully tackled the To-Do list I presented each week, knowing his chance to chill was only a few hours away. I smiled all afternoon while he channel surfed or snoozed, basking in the happy glow of the morning’s accomplishments.

Even more than what we did or didn’t do on Saturdays, we learned that the contrasts in our personalities and viewpoints weren’t wrong, just different. 

Now, thirty-five years and a pandemic later, we’re revisiting those early lessons. Some days are better than others.

Each morning we talk about the day ahead. “What does a good day look like to you?” we ask, then do our best to make it happen.

Sometimes we’re selfish. When we take stock at the end of the day, one person’s needs and desires were met while the other’s wasn’t. Some days are train wrecks. Most of the time we find a balance that pleases us both.

As we walk through these unusual days, we’re learning to give our expectations to the Lord and hold them loosely. To give each other grace. To be kind. Gentle. Forgiving. Unselfish.

We’re all dealing with less than ideal circumstances. But we have much to be grateful for.

When we get to the end of this social isolation period and jump back into our busy lives, I hope we’ll be able to say, “This has been a sweet opportunity to enjoy each other, spend uninterrupted time together, and grow closer.”

 I don’t want to look back on those weeks and say, “Gosh, what a miserable time. Why did we fight over so many foolish things?”

To remind us to honor God in the way we relate to our husband (child, grandchild, or whomever we’re sheltering-at-home with), will you join me in committing to memory these two powerful Bible verses:

Ephesians 4:32: “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

And Colossians 3:17: “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him”?

These wise words remind us that as we serve those around us, we’re not really serving them at all.

We’re serving Jesus Christ.

And we’d do anything for Him.

Wouldn’t we? 



Now it's your turn. I'd like to hear what you've found to be a hard aspect of sheltering at home. And then share a blessing. Leave your comment in the box below and join the conversation. If you're reading by email, CLICK HERE to visit Hungry for God online and leave a comment.



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