Monday

Why He Wears Two Wedding Rings and SC's 150 Day No Fault Divorce


South Carolina representative Walt McLeod recently introduced an amendment to the state constitution that would change the existing law that requires couples seeking a divorce to remain separated for one year. Under the proposed legislation, couples can dissolve their marriage after 150 days of separation.

There are more than a few pieces of legislation that have made me angry, frustrated, or disappointed, but this one just makes me sad. While I know there are some legitimate reasons for a marriage to end, I believe most marriages are worth working for and defending.

My husband David and I witnessed two beautiful examples of marital commitment on our recent anniversary trip. Our brother in Christ, Reno, and his wife are German believers. When we found out they knew the Lord, one of the first questions we asked was, "How did you come to know the Lord?"

"Our marriage was in trouble," Reno shared, while his wife, Rose, nodded in solemn agreement. "We didn't want to divorce, but knew we needed help. So we went to the church." Thankfully, "the church" was a congregation of dynamic believers who not only shared with Reno and Rose how God could heal their marriage, but how God could also heal their souls.

Danny was the second example. Our server on the last night of our cruise, Danny was a small, dark-skinned man with a big grin. A Peruvian, he entertained us with card tricks while keeping our tea cups and dessert plates filled. When the conversation took a more personal turn, I asked him if he was married.

"Twice!" he exclaimed to my surprise, holding up his left hand to show us two wedding rings.


At my puzzled look, he finished his sentence, ". . . to the same woman!"

He explained that in his country, many couples enter into marriage through a civil ceremony.

"But those marriages can be ended for any reason at all," he explained, pointing to the first wedding ring. "We wanted to make a permanent commitment," he went on, pointing to the second ring, "so we also got married in the church.  Before God."

Before God.

For better or for worse. In sickness and in health. In poverty or wealth. 'Til death do us part.

So help me God.
 

If you made a vow before God that has begun to lose its luster, accept by faith that a marriage worth having is a marriage worth fighting for.
 
Working for.

Praying over.

Recommitting to God.

Is getting married easy? Yes.
Is staying married easy? No.

Is it worth the effort? Absolutely.

Claim by faith the promise that "nothing is too hard for God," and invite Him into the process.

You may be able to get a divorce in South Carolina in 150 days, but what if, instead, you committed, in those 150 days, to do everything you could to restore your marriage? Like Reno and Rose, you could wind up with a testimony of healing that impacts people half way around the world.

Take God at His word.

I dare you.






Some of my favorite marriage resources are:


  • Fireproof, the Movie
  • The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick
  • His Needs/Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr.
  • The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
  • The Marriage You've Always Wanted by Gary Chapman


If you enjoyed this post, you might enjoy these other marriage posts: 

Is Your Marriage Dying of Boredom?  
5 Ways to Fireproof Your Marriage 
Husbands, Holiness, and a Painted Turtle





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    31 comments:

    1. What a great challenge for those whose marriage is suffering right now. A more blessed destiny for each of us is obtained when we acknowledge God's salvation, grace, and wisdom during our journey!

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    2. Buffy, I like Ruth Bell Graham's famous comment when they asked her if she ever considered divorce. She answered, "Divorce? Never! Murder? Maybe!" Thanks for commenting :)

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    3. Yes, after 41 years of marriage, I realize how easy it is to lose perspective at certain stages of the relationship. Without commitment, divorce can seem reasonable at those stages. And some folks have the commitment but their spouse doesn't, and their situations are especially hard. I like your point that getting married is easy, but staying married is not. Lots of good thoughts in this devotion, Lori, and great illustrations from your trip.

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    4. I suffered through a divorce and although I was very far away from God at that point in my life I know that God used it to bring me back to Him. I wish it on NO ONE!!! It's never an answer. It just brings additional heartache and shame. Praise the Lord for His redemption through Jesus Christ!!
      Hopped from BB&B

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      1. Piper, I think the pain of divorce is one of the greatest sorrows anyone can experience. I've come to really understand why God hates divorce -- because it hurts people. With that being said, though, he is also faithful to bind up our wounds, set our feet on a rock, and put a new song in our mouths. I'm so glad you met him there. Thanks so much for sharing.

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    5. Great great post!! How neat he has two wedding rings and what a great conversation trigger for proclaiming God! Your list of resources is phenomenal. Love 'em all.

      Falen
      www.upwardnotinward.com

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    6. Thank you for a great post, and thanks for linking up with us at
      Courtship Connection!
      Kathie

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    7. great post....very true...God can do miracles if we will just wait ...blessings from your new follower...Nicole

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      1. Thanks so much for stopping by, Nicole, and welcome to the family :)

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    8. Excellent post!! I have found the book, The Love Dare helpful especially as I was already doing some of those sorts of things to spice up my marriage. I have grown to like Gary Chapman's book and now would like to own the last one you mentioned in your list.

      Thanks so much for linking up with WholeHearted Home. I have so appreciated your contribution each week. I could feature you every week except that it is good to share the exposure of our websites with each other. Your posts are always so excellent!!

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    9. This was great. I love his sincere devotion! I have to say that reading the first few lines I was disheartened. I am totally with you on your marriage beliefs. But I don't want women or men to get so caught up that they don't realize that sometimes there are times that a marriage should be dissolved. My daughter is going through a divorce right now. It was not what we ever thought would happen. But in this circumstance it was the best thing for her and our grandson. It has been a hard road for all of us. It is a hard road for anyone that has faith. And yes I agree God can do miracles. We are praying for our son in laws relationship with God. He is in a new relationship which our grandson has to be a part of so it is still a long road for them. I pray that God is allowed to work in the lives of anyone reading this post. Thank you for sharing. And thank you for understanding.
      Have a beautiful Friday,
      Sherry

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      1. My Journey Back,
        Your family's story is such a sad example of how the brightest plans can turn into the darkest days. I am so sorry for your daughter, her son, and for all of you. Divorce is one of the most painful experiences a person can walk through, and yes, the whole family hurts. I'm so thankful that God can still show himself faithful on behalf of your daughter, grandson, and yes, even your son-in-law. He never stops pursuing us, and I can confidently say, as Piper shared above, that God can even use something as tragic as a divorce to draw people to himself. God bless you for sharing. Your daughter is blessed to have you.

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    10. Great Post. I shared it to facebook.

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      1. Thanks so much Sarah, both for stopping by and for sharing :)

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    11. Lori, Your title made me have to come find out the story! I like your post. Marriage can be hard, but it is worth fighting for.

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      1. It was an amazing story, and not one I would have ever expected to hear. Thanks for stopping by!

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    12. THanks for sharing this at Thriving Thursdays!

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    13. I wear two rings, though for a different reason. Mine is on my left hand, his around my neck. We made 28 years. Today would have been 29. Funny how I found your blog on this day. We were supposed to be together for over 50, but that didn't happen, and I miss him so much. We had a great ride while it lasted, and 2 beautiful sons to show for it.
      ~~Lori

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      1. From one Lori to another, may I express my most sincere condolences on the loss of your precious husband. Your comment reminds us all to treasure every day, hug those we love, and not take a single day for granted. May God reveal himself to you in a real and personal way on this anniversary. Perhaps he already has, as he sent you to my corner of the blogging world. I'm praying that "the God of all comfort" will keep your heart and mind today.

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    14. Beautiful story Lori, I also love Fireproof one of my favourite movies. Visiting from Matrimonial Linky, do have a super blessed day!
      Love

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    15. We lived as missionaries for 24 years in two South American countries where you have to have a civil wedding ceremony if you are not married in the catholic church, so all believers who want to get married in their local church have to do that. This would be a wonderful thought to share with them as they have all had two weddings!

      I'm visiting through Teach Me Tuesdays.

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    16. Fireproof & Love Dare helped save my parents marriage. To anyone considering divorce please TRY working on it first. Don't just give up!

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    17. Fireproof & Love Dare helped save my parents marriage. To anyone considering divorce please TRY working on it first. Don't just give up!

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    18. Fireproof & Love Dare helped save my parents marriage. To anyone considering divorce please TRY working on it first. Don't just give up!

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    19. Fireproof & Love Dare helped save my parents marriage. To anyone considering divorce please TRY working on it first. Don't just give up!

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    20. Thank you for sharing this! What a neat story and great example! Thank you for linking up at Simply Helping Him! Blessings!

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    21. Found you through the TWW linky party. Beautiful! Thank you so much!

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    22. so true. marriage is not something we should be willing to give up so easily. If Christ died for the church {his bride} the least we could do is fight for our marriages!

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    23. 150 days... That's an awfully long time compared to what we deal with here in Nevada! As long as someone has lived here in NV for 6 weeks, they can get a simple divorce from start to finish in about a month. For no reason. If we had stricter laws, I wonder how many marriages would be saved

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    24. Schala Lacy10:06 AM

      Ive been married for almost 2 yrs now & has been separated for 1y 1/2. But thank GOD for post like these that continue to keep me encouraged, strengthened, & holding on to GOD for restoration in my marriage.. Though everyday is filled with different emotions & thoughts. I am determined to hold, fight & trust GOD with my marriage & returning my husband home with a renewed mind & spirit. I believe that he can do it & that NOTHING is too hard for him..Im patiently awaiting the day when we both will look back & see that is was all GOD & no glory of our own
      *GRACE & PEACE*

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      1. Schala,

        Remember that NOTHING's too hard for God. I'd also recommend a wonderful book by Gary Chapman called "Desperate Marriages." He shares principles that can change the emotional climate of a marriage, even if the other person's not actively pursuing reconcilliation. Blessing to you, dear sister!

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