Was Job's Wife a Loser?

I’ve always thought Job’s wife was a loser. A loser with a capital L. 

To be honest, I try not to ponder Job and his wife’s story too deeply. I’m afraid if I get too close I might catch the plague that ravished their lives. So I keep my distance, skimming the book that bears Job’s name instead of stepping inside. 

But today as I breezed past the land of Uz in my Bible reading, Job’s wife opened the door and invited me in. 

I considered slapping on a mask and gloves and running the other way, but instead I took a deep breath and accepted her invitation. 

Heartbreak was everywhere. A series of tragedies had robbed Job of almost everything he held dear. His ten children had died in a catastrophic accident. Bands of raiders had ravaged his flocks, stealing thousands of animals. Pus-filled, oozing boils covered his body, disfiguring his skin and making him wish he’d never been born. 

Imagine what it would be like to be married to Job. 

Scripture records the two lines that immortalized Job’s wife: "Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!” (Job 2:9). 

Wow. What a woman. 

Instead of reminding Job of the goodness of God in the face of tragedy, she encourages him to jump off a cliff. “How can you believe in a God who has turned his back on you?” I can imagine her saying. “Spit in his face and return to the ground from whence you came.” 

Some of the women in the Bible inspire me with their bold and courageous faith, but not Mrs. Job. Her faithless, bitter words make me squirm. 

Ready to judge her and move on, I glance her way. And for the first time, I see—really see—the woman behind these gut-wrenching lines. 

Somehow, she looks different up close. It’s interesting how our perspective changes when we look into a person’s eyes instead of down our noses at them. 

Gazing into her grief-ravaged face, I realize three things: 

Job’s ten dead children were her dead children, too. 

The valuable animals that rode off into the sunset behind the bandits? Her defense against hunger and poverty also. 

And that deathly-ill man oozing with infection? Her beloved husband. 

No wonder her words sound bitter and faithless. They erupt from the depths of her grieving soul. Like the suffering Psalmist, she voices the question every believer asks during times of tragedy, but few dare to say aloud, “Did I purify my heart and wash my hands in innocence for nothing?” (Psalm 73:13). God, have I wasted my life serving you? 

Pastor/Teacher John Piper calls words like these “words for the wind.” 

“There are words with roots in deep error and deep evil,” he writes in the online article, “When Words Are Wind.” “But not all grey words get their color from a black heart. Some are colored mainly by the pain, the despair. What you hear is not the deepest thing within. There is something real within where they come from. But it is temporary—like a passing infection—real, painful, but not the true person.” 

Asaph, the Psalmist agrees. He explained the hurt that spawned his faithless words. “When I became embittered and my innermost being was wounded, I was a fool and didn’t understand; I was an unthinking animal toward You” (Psalm 73:22). 

Yet Asaph returned to the faith that held him when he was too weak to hold himself. I believe Job’s wife did, too. “Yet I am always with You;” Asaph declared to the God he had doubted. “You hold my right hand. You guide me with Your counsel, and afterwards You will take me up in glory. Whom do I have in heaven but you? And I desire nothing on earth but You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart, my portion forever” (Psalm 73:23-26). 

Looking deeply into Job’s wife’s eyes, I lowered the gavel I’d been prepared to strike in judgment and draped the mantle of mercy over her grieving shoulders. 

I believe this is what God did, too. 

Unlike Lot’s idolatrous wife, whose backward glance revealed her true heart condition, Job’s wife suffered no judgment from the Lord, only healing and restoration. When God blessed Job again with health, wealth, and family, I believe Mrs. Job was standing right there beside him, a testimony to God’s goodness and mercy. 

“So the Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the earlier. He owned 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 yoke of oxen, and 1,000 female donkeys. He also had seven sons and three daughters. . . . Job lived 140 years after this and saw his children and their children to the fourth generation. Then Job died, old and full of days” (Job 14:12-13, 17). 

What should we do when we encounter someone staggering under the pain of tragedy? 

Piper suggests we pray for discretion and wisdom. “Let us learn to discern whether the words spoken against us or against God or against the truth are merely for the wind — spoken not from the soul, but from the sore. If they are for the wind, let us wait in silence and not reprove. Restoring the soul, not reproving the sore, is the aim of our love.” 

I left Job’s house that day with a new opinion of his wife. I realize now that she isn’t a loser. Only a woman who bowed low under the weight of sorrow and grief, struggling to make sense of it all and desperate for hope and compassion. 

In my quickness to judge, perhaps I was the loser. 

Now it’s your turn. When have you misjudged someone, only to discover later that there was much you didn’t understand? Leave a comment below and share your story. If you’re reading by email, CLICK HERE to visit Hungry for God online and share your thoughts. 

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