Sunday

"Lies Moms Believe" -- Book Review and Giveaway

Have you ever sincerely believed a lie? Oh, boy I have. 

Some were simple and innocent. When I was very young, I believed dogs were male and cats were female. I don’t think anyone told me that. I just figured it out. 

When I was a teenager, I believed my friends were smarter than my parents, I was going to marry my high school boyfriend, and if my good works outweighed my bad works, I’d go to heaven someday. 

Adulthood cleared up those misconceptions, but brought with it a brand new batch of convincing lies. And then motherhood buried me in them. 

I believed because I didn’t enjoy other people’s children, I wouldn’t be a good mother. 

That the “experts” could do a better job teaching my children than I could. 

That I was sacrificing my personal and professional development by staying home with my kids. 

That some women were natural-born mothers, and the rest of us would always struggle. 

Because I believed these lies, I often felt discouraged and defeated. I was hamstrung by forces I thought were beyond my control. 

If I was more easy-going, my kids would be happier (and so would I). I have to choose between the structure I need and the freedom they need. We can’t have both. Because fun doesn't come naturally to me, my kids are missing out. 

Like the Charleston, South Carolina biting gnats famous for tormenting tourists and natives alike, these lies would swarm around me looking for vulnerable spots and tender places to bite. I spent more than a few dark days pondering my inadequacies. 

Now that I’m on the other side of active motherhood and further along in my Christian life, I recognize that many of the things I believed were bold-faced lies from Satan’s lips to my ears. This is why I jumped at the chance to review Rebekah Hargraves’ new book, Lies Moms Believe and How the Gospel Refutes Them

In this easy-to-read, conversational book, Hargraves tackles 32 of the most common lies mothers believe and divides them into five categories: Lies about the work of motherhood, lies about how God views us as moms, lies about ourselves as moms, lies about our children, and lies about our parenting choices. 

And Hargraves doesn’t pull any punches. Lie #1 will make your heart race just considering the implications that it might not be true: 

Lie #1: Motherhood Is a Woman’s Highest Calling. 

In addition to some of the lies I believed, she uses solid Scripture to debunk statements like: 

I am to find my ultimate fulfillment in motherhood. 

Mommy guilt is just something I have to live with. 

My children would be better off having a different mom. 

I’m selfish if I have any “me time,” or I need a lot of “me time.” 

Then she boldly (but lovingly) calls us to consider that perhaps some of these statements aren’t true either: 

Children are really expensive. 

Children ruin a marriage. 

And The most important thing is my child’s education. 

What I appreciate most about Hargraves' book is how she goes about dismantling the lies – she counteracts them with the truth of Scripture. Second Corinthians 10:15 tells us to take every thought captive to the obedience of Scripture, and that’s what she does – somehow without being preachy or boring. 

If you’ve ever struggled with discouraging mom thoughts, this book is for you. I believe in it so much that I’m willing to send a copy (with its accompanying Bible study workbook) to one lucky (United States) reader. To enter your name in the drawing, leave a comment on this post sharing one lie you’ve struggled with as a mom. At the end of the week, I’ll draw one name randomly from those who commented and announce the winner. Be sure to check back to see if you won. If I draw your name, I’ll need you to message me your mailing address. 

Finally, let me leave you with an encouraging charge from the final page of Lies Moms Believe

“When mommy guilt begins to weigh you down, I pray you will remember that, as my friend Tina says, 'Our scars are not who we are; His scars are.' When you are tempted to believe you are enough, I pray that you will remember instead that He is, and therein find your strength and the power needed for this journey of mothering. . . I hope you remember the beautiful words of Zephaniah 3:17 and embrace them as your own: 

Rebekah Hargraves
"The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." 

“The Lord is for you, mamma, and has fully equipped you for the high and holy calling of motherhood. You’ve got this! You can do it!”

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