When You've Had a Fight

It’s a bad feeling, being at odds with your spouse. 

Nine times out of ten it begins with something small. The socks he leaves on the den floor—a memorial to a hard day’s work. The laundry room is right there. Couldn’t you just open the door and throw them in? The way he takes up two thirds of the bed and hogs the covers. It’s a big bed—just slide over. And quit stealing the blankets. 

But it doesn’t stop there, because for every offense, however small, there’s an equal and opposite offense. I’m sure Newton wasn’t married or he’d have written the third law of marriage rather than the third law of motion. Well, you leave books and papers scattered everywhere. And don’t think I didn’t notice that you ate the last of the dessert and didn’t offer me any. 

The tit for tat sucks you in, and before you know it you’re sleeping on opposite ends of the bed with your backs turned sharing a silent treatment that screams louder than a two-year-old who's missed his nap. 

If you sleep at all, You can have your blankets and your half of the bed; maybe I should go sleep on the couch, you awaken grumpier than when you went to bed. You exchange the minimum conversation necessary to delegate the kids, errands, and carpool duties, and then you part ways. You were going to ask him for help with a problem before the fight began, but not anymore. And the light that came on on the dashboard? You’ll have to figure that out for yourself. 

It’s a bad feeling, being at odds with the one you love. 

It’s even worse being at odds with God. 

In my quest to read through the Bible in a year, I read in Colossians about the amazing work of reconciliation Christ accomplished on the cross. Greater than negotiating peace between Sunnis and Shiites, Democrats and Republicans, or Cowboys and Redskins, Christ brokered a peace agreement unlike any other. And we were the beneficiaries. 

Sins of rebellion, pride, and self-will that sprouted in the Garden of Eden and bore fruit for thousands of generations had created a breach between us and our Savior. Separated from the Lover of our souls, we were helpless and hopeless, toddlers attempting to cross the interstate during rush hour traffic. We were our own worst enemies, trying to fill the emptiness of our hearts and lives with toxic pleasures that would one day kill our bodies and our souls. 

But “. . . it pleased the Father,” through Christ, “to reconcile all things to Himself, by Him, whether things on earth or things in heaven, having made peace through the blood of His cross” (Gal. 1:19-21). 

God could have said, “Forget it. They’re too far gone. Too hopeless. Too sinful. I don’t need them in my life. They’re nothing but trouble.” 

Instead, “it pleased the Father” to sacrifice his precious, holy Son to reconcile me. And you. 

Now, instead of guilt, fear, and loneliness, we have freedom, peace, and God’s comforting presence. We can come boldly to the throne of grace with confidence, knowing that all is well between our Savior and ourselves. We don’t have to fear the future, the present, or the past, for the hands that hold the universe also hold our lives. 

“And you, who were once alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now He has reconciled in the body of His flesh through death, to present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight . . . “(v. 21-22). 

I’m thankful that marital fights don’t last forever, and that God’s forgiveness does. As we rest in the reconciled peace of our Savior, may we also extend this restoring grace to those around us. 

 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you,” (Eph. 4:32). 

Is there someone with whom you need to reconcile? Don’t wait. Do it today. For Jesus’ sake. 

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