Monday

"You is kind. You is smart. You is important."

In probably one of the most poignant lines in the movie, The Help, Aibileen's empowering words to Mae Mobley resonate. Inspiring in their own right, they are life-giving to a little girl starving for a kind word or gesture from her cold and distant mother.


"When Abraham Lincoln was shot at Ford's Theatre in Washington, D.C. on April 14, 1865, he was carrying . . . a brown leather wallet containing . . .  nine newspaper clippings, including several favorable to the president and his policies," reports the Library of Congress.*


My friend Maryann shared recently that her father-in-law refers to her as "the best daughter-in-law ever." He has never said a critical word to her in her 27-year marriage.


I have a box where I keep every kind thank you note anyone's ever sent me.


Why?


Because we're never too old, important, or secure not to care what other people think about us. It's universal. It's part of our humanity.


So if words of affirmation are so important, why don't we speak them more often?


When our children do something wrong, we correct them, but when they do something right, we fail to comment, because they were supposed to do it.


I get paid to do my job, but I sure like it when a patient takes time to thank me for caring for them. One compliment or expression of thanks can carry me through a whole day of grumpy patients.


And when was the last time we thanked our husbands for going to work every day?
"Well, he's supposed to! And I work hard too; nobody thanks me," we justify.


When was the last time we told our young adult children we are proud of them?


Now that my children are out of the nest, both my mother and my mother-in-law have told my husband and me that we "did a good job raising the girls." I carry these words tucked close to my heart, especially when Satan whispers words to the contrary.


What words do you wish someone would say to you?

Go out and speak them today.





  If you're reading this by email, click here to watch the video clip.

*(http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/h?ammem/scsmbib:@field%28DOCID+@lit%28scsm001049%29%29)
 

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31 comments:

  1. I agree, Lori. It doesn't take but a moment to share a kind word. As a creative person and writer, receiving one carries me for a while. Great post!

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    1. You're right, Laura, being a wordsmith probably means that words of affirmation are our love language. That makes it doubly important both to give and to receive kind words often. thanks so much for stopping by :)

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  2. Lori, this was such a wonderful post on commenting on the good things others do!! I've stopped by here before...I recognize you :-) Stopping by from Haven of Rest.

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    1. Judith, when James talks about the tongue being a powerful member, he wasn't kidding. It's my desire to be sure that mine is a powerful member to do good, and not harm. Thanks so much for stopping by :)

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  3. Hi Lori, Thank you for your "visit & encouragement", I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post! You are soooo right - and how quickly we forget to use our words as a weapon for good as James instructs. "Words of encouragement" is not my strongest gift so I need to make a much larger conscious effort. Thank you for the reminder!!!

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    1. I love your phrase about using our words "as a weapon for good." Wow, what a war we could fight with those weapons. Joshua and Jericho wouldn't have anything on us! Thanks for stopping by :)

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  4. Wow, Lori, multi-media post...great job!

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  5. Yes, this techno-hopeless blogger is trying new things in part because her much more advanced blogging friends keep spurring her on! Keep it up :)

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  6. So true! Encouragement is powerful and we should all be striving to encourage one another.

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  7. I try to make a point to give positive encouragement to both my husband and my son. You are right thought, often I don't because I think it's what they are supposed to do. I thrive on such things too, so I know it's important!

    I host a link-up on Wednesday called WIP (Work in Progress) Wednesday. I would love for you to join us!
    newlifesteward.com

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    1. Glad you decided to join us!!

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  8. Reading this I am reminded that this same advice was given to me years ago. After 23 years of marriage I can attest to how important it is to let the hubby know his hard work means something more than just a paycheck for me to spend at the end of the week. Men are often misunderstood in their need for verbal approval, encouragement, etc. the hubby does not really "like" when I praise him because it makes him feel umcomfy, so I try to do it subtly...texting him a few times a month works for him and I honestly see a difference if I don't. An yes, I am one of those hokey wives that put notes in his lunch a few times a year...keeps things fun and let's him know he is appreciated! thanks for this reminder...I think a lunch note is in order :0).

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    1. Donna, what a great point you make about not trying to force affirmation on our husbands in ways they're not wired to receive. YOu are a wise woman to figure out how to affirm him in ways he's comfortable with. Otherwise, we kinda defeat the purpose, don't we? Thanks for commenting and for visiting BNW!

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  9. Yes, words of affirmation are so important. I loved this movie btw and your post too. Blessings! Lauren, lholmes79.wordpress.com

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    1. Thanks so much, Lauren, for stopping by!

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  10. Wow love this reminder. Thank you. Words of affirmation are so very important and your right I wonder why, since I enjoy receiving them so much, I don't say them nearly enough. Something I have been working on. :) Thank you!

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    1. It's a mystery to me, too, Sherri, but I have to constantly be intentional about it. OH, may the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable in His sight! Thanks so much for stopping by.:)

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  11. Great words of encouragement today. It's so true that it's easier to speak corrective words over our children especially than affirming words... love this reminder.
    Thanks for linking up at our Heart&Home gathering at mercyINK!
    blessings,
    lauren
    www.mercyinkblog.com

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    1. Lauren,

      I agree that it's hardest to find the balance between our responsibility to correct and train our children and the desire to affirm and encourage them. Oh, may the Holy Spirit guide our words to these precious ones!

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  12. Stopping by from the Beholding Glory link up. Aibileen is one of my favorite characters and I just viewed your post on Terri Blackstock from another link up. Funny, God is drawing me to your blog in the wee morning hours. Encouragemen does mean so much and I haven't put all of my cards and notes in one place but I do save them all and when I run across them at random times, they do so much for me. Blessings to you again.

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    1. Eviejo, thanks so much for stopping by. I, too, find that the quiet hours are when God's voice speaks the loudest. Probably because I"m still enough to hear him! I'm humbled to be a part of the way he ministers to you. Blessings!

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  13. This is so true. I always say I can live on a good compliment for 2 weeks. I will be looking to compliment others so they can live. I found you on Thriving Thursdays link up.
    http://www.thelostapron.com/2012/11/apron-making-party.html

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    1. Ana, You obviously have experienced the power of a well-timed word. May we all be quick to speak them into those around us! Thanks so much for stopping by :)

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  14. That scene really was a beautiful reminder to us all to encourage and lift up those we love. I'm guilty of neglecting this very important task, Lori. Thanks so much for highlighting this need. And in case no one has told you today or recently, you've done a great job on your blog! Keep it up, my friend!

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    1. Your kind words made me smile today, Beth. Such a treat to make friends on the blogosphere. May God be glorified!

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  15. Oh how important words are, even if they are not your primary love language, an honest complement at the right time can really make a persons day! Thank you for linking up to Matrimonial Monday, these stories that you and others share, just make me smile :)

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  16. Thank you for linking up over at WholeHearted Home this week. Your posts are always so original, bringing out a spiritual point.

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  17. Great post! THanks for sharing at Thriving Thursdays! So true that we're all a bit insecure and need those words of affirmation!

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  18. Lovely post and one that I should take to heart. I do a decent job with the kids but I'm reluctant to admit that I am not very generous with the kind words with the other adults in my life. That scene from the movie brings me to tears every time I see it and is in fact an excellent reminder of what love in action looks like. Thank you.

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