5 Ways to Become More Thoughtful

I hope you have a thoughtful person in your life.

I have several. My sister is very thoughtful. One of our family members recently completed cancer treatment that involved daily visits to the treatment center for more than nine weeks. When I took my last "turn" at the 90-mile round trip, my first thoughts were, "Boy, I'm glad that's over. I'm so glad the treatment was successful." When she took her last turn, her first thoughts were, "Boy, I'm glad that's over. Let's celebrate!"

It's the difference between being the first-born and being the baby, I suspect.


I finished the trip with a sigh of relief and a recap of the doctor's final comments. She finished with hugs, balloons, and a celebratory cake. Thoughtfulness comes easier for her. I have to work at it.


My friend Heather is another thoughtful person. We've been friends for over thirty years, and I think she's sent me a birthday card almost every year since we graduated from dental hygiene school together. I, on the other hand, consistently remember her birthday one month too late (when I open her birthday card to me), and am too embarrassed to send a card in return. Thoughtfulness comes easier to her. I have to work at it.


But I want to be a thoughtful person, because thoughtful people are wonderful. They attract friends like the ice cream man attracts children, and they leave smiles behind like confetti after a parade.


As I pondered the virtue of thoughtfulness, I thought of five simple steps we can take to become  more thoughtful people:


1. Be other-focused instead of self-focused. Philippians 2:4 says it this way, "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Sometimes the most thoughtful thing we can do for a person is to slow down long enough to listen with our full attention.

2. Be observant. Notice what others enjoy and make surreptitious notes for future reference. When the time is right, surprise them with a small gift. On my last birthday, Heather remembered that lavender is one of my favorite colors, so she gave me two lavender candles for my next romantic dinner.


3. Utilize technology. If you can't remember someone's birthday or anniversary until it's too late (note to self here), plug it into your i-Phone, Outlook desktop calendar, or  birthday notifications on Facebook.

4. Be intentional. Purpose to do one thoughtful thing every day, then pray and ask God to make you aware of someone who needs such a gesture. It can be something as simple as jotting an encouraging note to a friend, posting a favorite verse on someone's Facebook wall, or sending a text message to someone for whom you've been praying.


5. Start small.  I suspect when my friend Heather mailed that first birthday card, she didn't plan to be sending cards 30 years later. Instead, I think she listened to the Holy Spirit's prompt that day and obeyed. Three decades later, she has sown a legacy of thoughtfulness that continues to bless and inspire me.


What about you? Does thoughtfulness come easily or do you have to work at it? Either way, I encourage you to invite God into your life to help you become a more thoughtful person.




“But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.”
― George Eliot, Middlemarch: A Study of Provincial Life






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