My Daughter's Perfect Husband

 A kind friend gave me a new purse the other day. My old one was looking pretty shabby. Prior to the gifting, we  talked about what makes a good purse. Her ideas were a little different than mine. "It's gotta be big," she said, "with lots of room for my stuff."

"Oh, not for me," I disagreed, "if it's too big, it hurts my shoulder. For me, the perfect purse is a little smaller, with an outside pocket for my cell phone and keys."

Later that week, she presented me with a "Just Because" gift of a pretty new purse. Not too big. An outside pocket for my keys and cell phone. Just a touch of bling.

"It's perfect!" I exclaimed in delight.

Each month I pray for my daughters using a prayer guide called The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children by Stormie Omartian. This month's topic of prayer was that my adult children would "enjoy a successful marriage and raise godly children." The model prayer at the end of the chapter begins with these words, "Lord, I pray for (name of adult child) and ask that you would give him(her) the perfect wife(husband)."

As I began to pray these words, I was tempted to correct them. Well, I thought, no one is perfect. It's presumptuous to pray for perfect husbands for my daughters. That's asking a lot, isn't it? I mean, perfect?"

Over the next few days, though, God showed me that praying for a perfect husband for my daughters is not presumptuous. It's biblical.

Let me show you why.

James 1:17 tells us that "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights."

Although neither of my daughters are married, because they are seeking God's ways and following His principles, the husband God brings into their lives will be a perfect gift from Him.

More so, I believe he will be perfect.

 Listen to God's description of a perfect man:

Genesis 6:9:  "Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God." 

1Kings 15:14: "Asa's heart was perfect with the LORD all his days."

2 Kings 20:3:  "Remember now how I (Hezekiah) have walked before you in truth and with a perfect heart, and have done that which is good in thy sight."

 Job 1:1: "There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and avoided evil."

As we consider these men whom God called perfect, we realize that each man was flawed. Yet God still called them perfect.

The Hebrew lexicon defines the word "perfect" in this way:  {perfect: or, upright}. God's idea of a perfect man is not one who is flawless, but one who seeks with all his heart to be upright, godly, faithful, and above reproach. We know that Noah, Asa, Hezekiah, and Job were all flawed men, yet they loved God and sought to honor and obey Him.

I pray God sends my daughters a perfect husband. It is a prayer that is not presumptuous or unrealistic. I believe it is God's will for them. 

What good and perfect gifts are you praying into your children's lives?

Like my friend listened to my likes and dislikes, considered my needs and wants, and found a perfect purse for me, God cares about our children's likes and dislikes, needs and wants, and desires to send them a mate who is just perfect for them. As praying mothers and fathers, we can help accomplish God's will in our children's lives by claiming His promises on their behalf.

And a perfect husband or wife is WAY more important than a perfect purse!

Will you join me in praying God's good and perfect gifts into our children's lives?

"Lord, I pray now for (name of adult child) and ask that You would give him(her) the perfect wife(husband). Bring a godly, believing woman(man) into his(her) life who will be with him(her) for the rest of their lives in a fulfilling and happy marriage. I pray that she(he) will have purity of heart, plus a nature and character that is gracious, kind, giving, and loving. I pray that they will always be attracted to one another in a way that is lasting. Amen." (The Power of a Praying Parent, Omartian, p. 192).

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  1. I like your thorough thought process on this one, Lori. I would have approached the word "perfect" as you did at first. I sometimes think Christian young people actually think there's a PERFECT mate for them who will perfectly fulfill them when only God can do that. But your perspective is right on.

  2. What a wonderful way to pray for our children!! We began praying years when our children were very small that God would be in preparing a soul mate for them. I could just imagine a little boy or a little girl, praying for the first time, reading their little children's Bible, and also praying for the parents that are raising them. Thank you for this reminder that we are responsible for praying for God's perfect choice for our children.(Hopped from Bless a Blogger)

    1. It's true, Piper, and what a joy it will be to finally meet that young man or woman and know that our prayers had a part in their lives. I can't wait!

  3. Hi Lori! I read your guest blog on Deborah Bateman's website, Christian Daily Resources. I am currently writing a book "Escaping Boredom In Christianity." I am doing a series right now about igniting the fire in our spirits on my blog I am using the series to outline my book. I would love to share part of your story on my blog and then use it in my book. I don't have to use your name or any personal information, unless you wanted me to. Let me know if you would be interested in allowing me to use it.

    Please contact me through my website or email address:

    Thanks for sharing God's Word. Blessings to you:)

  4. I read this again, and agree again. And the other element in a perfect spouse is this: sometimes the flaws of our children's spouses force them to face their own flaws and hopefully draw them closer to the Lord.

  5. I've not noticed all these references to godly people in the Bible being "perfect." I know I've read these verses before but must have just skimmed over that very important and somewhat elusive word. Thanks for highlighting that not only does God give perfect gifts but that we should be praying for our children and their present and future spouses, Lori. :)

  6. Great thoughts Lori, and it is never too early to start! Thanks for sharing, have a super blessed day!

  7. Anonymous3:19 PM

    And, so it goes when I find a new blog that I like. I already have two other posts open in other tabs for reading. But I wanted to stop here to show my appreciation.

    I'm reading The Power of a Praying Parent at the moment and it is a great book. And I believe that we are gifted the perfect partner for us. But you have served up the supporting documents for my belief. Thank you.

    I look forward to reading more.


  8. This idea works as long as you're also praying for your daughter to be a perfect wife. Most likely, if she's an excellent wife, she'll end up with a perfect husband. And the closer she grows toward perfection, the more he'll want to as well.

    Of course, the quest for perfection is one that will continue far into eternity--neither the man, nor the woman will be even close to perfect at their wedding. Expecting that is a recipe for disaster.

  9. Right you are, Strong Man, and those requests actually comprise the bulk of my prayers. I pray daily that she'll be conformed to the image of Christ. My husband, who's a youth minister, often challenges our youth to stop looking for the perfect person and start BECOMING the perfect person. Sounds like you and he would like each other a lot (smile). Thanks for stopping by and for commenting.

  10. I prayed since I was 13 that God would show me the man He wanted me to marry. I met him when I was 19. We've been married 29 years - and I still believe he's practically perfect still:) BTW - I need to get S.O's prayer for adult children. I have the teen and spouse - but really could use this one - thanks for the heads up!

  11. Robert and I pray for our adult children every day - our son is married and we have a daughter-in-love. Their journey as a couple is so different than what ours was - and this world is so much less supportive of healthy marriages. I do have the book you've referenced, along with the workbook. (I used it a few years ago) Thank you for the reminder - it's time to pull it out again!

    Our adult daughter is not yet married, but it's in her heart that she'd like to meet the spouse God intended for her. We also pray for that man - whoever he may be...

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