Ellie and David – Two Good Gifts, A Tribute to Marriage

Overshadowed by Christmas and family gatherings, presents and meals, holidays and have-to's, a very special occasion came and went two weeks ago. Our 34th wedding anniversary. 

Friends warned us that an anniversary in the shadow of the most celebrated day of the year might get overlooked. Who needs another present, dinner out, or card? 

And their warning has sometimes come true. If we don’t guard our special day, it’s easy to overlook it. The spectacular becomes the ordinary. The sparkle dims and the fanfare segues to the familiar. Kind of like my childhood friend, Ellie.

My mother created Ellie when I was five years old. An impressive attempt for an amateur seamstress, Ellie the elephant was stitched from 17 pieces of fabric and stuffed with I-don’t-know-what. She has a multi-colored trunk, blue ears, and hand-embroidered pink eyes. 

Ellie quickly became my new best friend. I carried her everywhere, chewed on her trunk, and cried into her soft stomach. I slept with her under my chin. Before long I’d handled her so much that her shiny fabric dulled to a muted blue. Saliva stains marred her trunk, and one ear came loose, a casualty of too much love. 

I brought her to elementary school for Show and Tell, to high school for a Home Ec class, to college for a psychology display, and, after I was married, to our first home. She sat on my dresser, a tribute to a childhood well lived. 

When we moved the first time, and the second, and the third, Ellie traveled with us. Today she sits on a shelf in my bedroom closet above my sock drawer, next to Ken, Barbie, and a picture of me running the hurdles in high school. Ellie is one of my treasures. 

In many ways, Ellie’s a lot like my marriage. Over the years its fabric has also changed. My husband and I have traded the silk and tuxedo for scrubs and work pants. We still break out the bling every now and then, but sequins are scratchy and tuxedos bind. Sparkle has given way to softness, like the warm embrace of a well-worn blanket. 

I cut my relational teeth on the patience and forgiveness of my long suffering husband. I’ve cried tears of anger, betrayal, hurt, fear, sickness, and grief into his chest, leaving emotional stains he’s willingly worn. I’ve filled his ears with rants, dreams, and prayers ‘til it’s a wonder they haven’t fallen off. I’ve carried my marriage everywhere. 

From the elementary years of emotional discovery, to the high school years of responsible parenting, to the college years of hard work and sacrifice, to the graduation years of accomplished dreams. 

But instead of sitting on a dresser or a shelf, my marriage travels with me wherever I go. It centers me, inspires me, molds me, and refines me. It gives me strength when I’m weary and comfort when I feel alone. 

It’s a safe place to be myself and a challenging place to become better than who I am. It sands the rough edges of my selfishness and polishes the gold of my potential. 

Like my mother fashioned Ellie to be my companion, my comfort, and my friend, so has my heavenly father created my husband to be my companion, my comfort, my friend, and my lover. 

Ellie and David. Two good gifts from those who love me best.


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