Would You Cheat on Your Husband?

Yes, you would.

And so would I.

. . . but for the grace of God.

"The heart is deceitful and desperately wicked," Jeremiah 17:9 says, "who can know it?"

Here are some ways our heart (and Hollywood, the media, popular woman's magazines, and our friends) lie to us:

1.  They tell us someone else could better meet our needs.

2.  They tell us another man would appreciate us more.

3.  They tell us our marriage is too broken to fix.

4.  They tell us we deserve to be happy.

And sometimes we think that:

5. OTHERS may cheat on their husbands, but I would NEVER do such a thing.

These are lies from the pit of Hell.

In reverse order, let's tackle them.

5. I would never cheat on my husband.

 "No temptation has seized you but what is common to man (or woman)" (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Each of us "is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed" (James 1:14).

These two verses remind us that temptation is common to us all, and the potential for infidelity is only one temptation away. We are foolish if we don't diligently guard our hearts and marriages.

"So, if you think you are standing firm," 1 Corinthians 10:12 reminds us, "be careful that you don't fall!"

4. I deserve to be happy.

Sorry to be a bubble buster today, but God did not come into our lives to make us happy. God came to make us holy. 

Often, the difficult people in our lives are God's sandpaper to smooth the rough edges of our character and make them shine. Did you know that wood, when polished smooth and sealed, has the ability to reflect a person's face? How much smoothing do we need to accurately reflect God's face to the world? Often when I pray for change in my husband, God changes me instead.  It's a beautiful mystery.

3.  My marriage is too broken to fix.

Another lie. "Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you" (Jeremiah 32:17).

It may not be easy. And it may not be fun, but most marriages can be improved. Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Marriage You've Always Wanted, with 35+ years of experience in marital counseling, says this:
“We cannot change our spouses, but we can influence them. We do so every day, either positively or negatively.” In his book, Desperate Marriages, he addresses the individual married to someone who is a workaholic, alcoholic, never home, won’t work, or is physically or verbally abusive. 

“You are in the best position of all,” he says, “to influence your spouse through the biblical concept of loving your enemy and returning good for evil. I've seen hardened, hopeless men melt under the power of a spouse demonstrating unconditional love in a way they can understand.”

2.  Someone else would appreciate me more, and 1. Someone else could better meet my needs. 

“All of us want to be happy, and there’s nothing wrong with that,” Chapman says. The reality is that happiness doesn’t come from having a spouse who does everything we want them to do. “Happiness,” he says, “is the byproduct of giving your life away to help others. The happiest people in the world are people who serve.” 

Marriage -- two vastly different, sinful, selfish people living in close proximity to one another for years, is one of the greatest challenges we face today. It can also be one of the most rewarding experiences of our lives. It's no coincidence that God compared the relationship of a husband and a wife with his love affair with the church. It is through God-honoring, committed marriages that God can best demonstrate the unconditional, sacrificial, beautiful love he has for the world.

Will you join me in committing to do whatever it takes to honor God through our marriages? 

Dr. Chapman's ministry has generously donated a copy of The Marriage You've Always Wanted to one of Hungry for God's readers. If you or someone you know could benefit from this resource, please leave a comment below. At the end of the week I'll randomly choose one reader to receive the book. Keep in mind that if you leave your post anonymously, I won't have an email address with which to contact you.

Focus on the Family has trained counselors available to help. Last year, they helped save a marriage every 6 minutes.

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If you enjoyed this post, you might like "The Day the House Burned Down. Is Your Marriage Fireproof?

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